1800 Frames of your Time

"V" for Vendetta (2005)

2006-03-26T08:38:00.000-08:00

Oh, Wachowski, Wachowski.....you guys are up to it again, huh? You may remember the Wachowski brothers from a little movie called The Matrix and its sequels. Never heard of it? Yeah, I had to go look it up myself. Apparently it did well, though.

In all seriousness, the brothers have outdone themselves this time. All controversy aside about their writing credibility, their movies tend to be fantastic. (they settled out of court, all but an admission of guilt, for having stolen the stories from some woman. You can read more about that here. Be your own judge.)

I will say, there's some corniness in most of their movies, a great deal of it in the later Matrix movies, but the STORIES are always groundbreaking and revolutionary for their time.

Now, about this V for Vendetta flick. The synopsis from imdb.com reads, "A shadowy freedom fighter known only as "V" uses terrorist tactics to fight against his totalitarian society. Upon rescuing a girl from the secret police, he also finds his best chance at having an ally." I think that pretty much sums it up.

I think it's high time we saw some revolutionary films, some more films like Fight Club that are written to call people to arms, to get them off their butts and feeling less afraid of the world around us, and this movie does just that. Not just the politically motivating, fight for a cause kind of movies, I'm sick of those...but the broader, "aren't you all sick of life the way it is" movies. It is a very empowering movie, but does so through Evey's (Natalie Portman) personal journey instead of coming across as too preachy.

The pace of the movie is QUITE dragging. Some of the issues you're waiting to have resolved stay on the cusp of resolution for so long that you feel like the movie just won't end. Some of the others are resolved so early that you feel like the movie should be over, but it's not. Aside from this pacing issue, all of the drama and plot points are unconventionally strewn about the story in a POSITIVE way. Just don't be in a hurry to get out of your seat, even though the movie is a standard two hours.

Also, there is some typical Wachowski cheese. Gratuitous bloody slow-mo shots, supernatural feats without solid explanations, and a few unresolved story elements.

Why, with all of these problems, is this still a good movie? Because of Evey's story. Natalie Portman's best role ever, by far, knocks this movie out of the park. Her story, her path alongside "V" is the same road everyone takes toward becoming the master of his or her own destiny. I think Tyler Durden in Fight Club said it best - "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

If you have a chance, and some patience, check this movie out. If you're looking for an action movie, leave it be. If you like 1984 (the novel), the Matrix, or Fight Club, this is one you will also find fits (cheesily, I admit) in that category.

Run Lola Run (1998)

2006-03-24T10:33:00.000-08:00

Franka Potente, best known for her role in the Bourne Identity in the states, has slowly started to make a name for herself in film. She started, in part, with a movie called Lola rennt (Run Lola Run in English) in Germany and it was astounding. Definitely a M.E.S.S.

The movie is about a woman who must save her boyfriend's life by getting 100,000 Deutschmarks in twenty minutes. How then, does the movie last longer than that!?!? Well, that's the interesting part.

The format is fantastic. It's totally different from most, experimental, like a short film sort of.

There are animated sequences, flash forwards, and experiments with cause and effect (if lola bumps into a homeless woman, for instance, we get a polaroid montage of how it the sequence of events set in motion by that, versus what would have happened if Lola hadn't ran into her - all in about ten or twenty seconds).

Fast paced, emotional, and creative, Run Lola Run breaks all the rules, invents some new ones, and hits film hard with a new flavor of entertainment that is both experimental and easy to digest. Pick it up.

Failure to Launch

2006-03-18T22:49:00.000-08:00

I guess the only thing to say is, "Yay, another romantic comedy!" But at least it was "yay" and not "boo".

If you can totally suspend your disbelief and be ok with the fact that Sarah Jessica Parker's job is ridiculous and that no man that looks like Matthew McConaughey would live with his parents one MINUTE longer than he has to, then it's a great movie. The humor is strong, and smart, there was a good balance of moronic slapstick moments and wittiness.

The two supporting actors, Matthew's buds in the movie, did a great job worthy of noting. They were one of the strongest parts of the movie, really bringing the male audience to the movie without jamming it down your throat.

The story is so completely typical, surrounded in a new setting (SJP's occupation as the "son-mover-outer") with gorgeous actors and actresses. It's funny but not memorable, emotional but not moving. Good date movie, afternoon-with-nothing-else-on movie, and GREAT if you love either one of the leads.

Worth mentioning I think is Zooey Deschanel. She's flying below the radar of popularity, but shows up in a lot of movies. She REALLY delivers an excellent performance in this movie opposite Justin Bartha, both of which have great careers ahead of them if they don't do anything stupid. Justin Bartha was comic relief in National Treasure, and appears to be working on a tv series now.

If I see that Matthew McConaughey "I'm hot and I know it so I'm going to smile innocently like I don't know it so you can watch me smile innocently" look one more time, I'm going to ban him from making movies. Because I can do that. Single handedly. Yes sir.

Anyway, the movie is straightforward, nothing too obnoxious (except maybe Terry Bradshaw's naked ass and a scene with a giggling lizard. Yeah, they're both in there.). But nothing too memorable. Great if you like all the shots of pretty people and acting legends that should totally be doing better things (ahem....Kathy *cough, cough* Bates). Wonderful if you can just sit back sometimes and enjoy the ride without needing it to be a groundbreaking movie.

M.E.S.S. - High Fidelity

2006-03-18T08:54:00.000-08:00

John Cusack. Jack Black. Joan Cusack. Tim Robbins. If these names aren't enough to entice you, how about, Nick Hornby (writer of About A Boy) wrote it?

High Fidelity is one of those movies that sticks out stylistically as well as educationally. It's the story of a man who owns a record shop with a total of two music-snob employees, and has recently had a huge relationship falling out. The movie is his recounting of this falling out, and others, as he searches for why this continues to happen to him.

High Fidelity is one of those movies that solidifies its place in movie history not by its accomplishments in the industry but by its truth, the fact that it rings true of life on a level most movies don't ever hit. Not to mention, John Cusack makes anything cool, somehow. Jack Black accuses him of wearing a "Cosby Sweater" at one point. Jack Black sings one of the best renditions of "Let's Get it On" that I've ever heard. Cusack makes about a hundred different "top-five" lists, from break-ups to songs about death. His real-life sister slaps the shit out of him. If that's not enough to convince you to see this movie, I should just stop writing now.

And on a deeper level, the movie makes me feel like it's ok to be nerdy about some things. It makes it ok to make top-five lists of songs simply because you're a guru. It makes it ok to write about movies that were released 6 years ago just because someone out there might read about it and pick it up. And it makes it ok to be completely psychotically in love, so long as you're aware of it.

Paradise Now

2006-03-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

Paradise Now is the story of two Palestinian friends that have been given the honor of becoming suicide bombers (yes, the honor) to avenge the death of a key figure in the liberation of Palestine.

This movie is Oscar-nominated for best foriegn language film, which I think is great. I'm not sure how to really review this movie, because the whole thing is so untraditional. There isn't much I can compare it against.

The story is told well, and the acting is true and sincere. The pacing of the story is medium-slow, and the lesson learned is moving. I think most people have a fairly strong stance in the States against suicide bombing, and most of us are sure that's not the way to accomplish any true goals. However, that's the debate put to the test in this film, and going through the minds of two men that are making that choice. Who better to debate the issue?

I felt like in the middle east, this film probably has a much wider impact, is a much braver thing to do, and deserves all the praise in the world for that. As an entertainment piece, the movie falls short of "fun" if you know what I mean.

The story did take some unexpected turns, I was completely spellbound sitting in the theater watching credits roll, and if you see this movie you'll understand why. But it just didn't click, even with all that enthralling stuff.

This was an "open people's eyes" kind of a movie, and I feel like mine were already open. But, if you haven't quite made up your mind on the suicide bomber issue, maybe you'll learn something and enjoy the movie? Who knows.

I feel really strange about this movie. I've got almost nothing of any real value to say about it, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It's just one of those heavy, well-executed, "wish I'd gone to see something a little more fun" films.

I think that all movies, politically motivated or not, have to stay in their place as MOVIES. This is an entertainment medium, not a platform for influencing lives. I mean, you can influence lives, sure, and you can even give a slice-of-life thing a try (even if it's a suicide bomber's slice-of-life) but there's still an element of entertainment that should be encouraged and an element of preachniess that should be beaten into the ground.

The protagonist said it best when asked what his favorite genre of movie is......"Is there a boring one?" and it is evident that the filmmaker's agreed with that.

The Royal Tenebaums

2006-02-25T20:06:00.000-08:00

Isn't that image great? You'll love it once you see the movie, if you haven't already.

The Royal Tenenbaums was a huge turning point for me and film. The movie is about Royal Tenenbaum, a grandfather that has been very well-to-do his entire life, with kids that have been extremely successful in all their chosen endeavors, but never really connected as a family.

The ensemble cast includes greats like Owen and Luke Wilson, Gene Hackman (as Royal), Ben Stiller, Bill Murry, Dannie Glover, and on and on and on....the cast alone makes this a M.E.S.S.

Also worth noting....this movie is GOOFY. It is quirky, and odd, and while all of the humor here is totally deadpan, making the movie seem more serious than it is, trust me - its all funny. One of the most quotable movies I've ever seen.

The way this movie was shot was revolutionary for my take on film. The shots in this film are some of the most beautiful I've ever seen, with loads of straightforward, geometric shots that are composed so well they just punch you in the face.

When I watched the Royal Tenenbaums, I knew that there was an entire tone for films that had been untapped - reality. They talk and act like real people talk and act, they are doing hilarious things sometimes and not even realizing it, much the way we do every day. It is hard to step out of a situation to see the beauty or hilarity of it, and they show that amazingly. They can't see the beauty of their situations, but we can, and the fact that they can't becomes yet another level of beauty in this movie.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. The soundtrack!! The songs are all by The Beatles, or at least for the most part, I don't know, something like that. They were all covered by various artists, and it is quite easily the best match of video/film and sounds I've seen in a very long time. If you're at all a Beatles fan, or just enjoy a GREAT music video every now and then, that's something else that would make this movie a draw for you.

It's just plain wonderful. I'm going to go watch it again.

Shopgirl

2006-02-25T13:38:00.000-08:00

The only thing I don't like about Steve Martin's movie Shopgirl is that it has so much Steve Martin.

Steve Martin wrote a Novella about a year or two ago and it has been released as a movie starring him and Jason Schwartzman. It is about a girl who works at the counter at SACS who meets two men on completely opposite ends of the spectrum from one another that both fall for her. One is an older, more level headed, wealthy guy, and the other is young, broke, and completely emotionally charged.

This movie takes a few twists and turns that I liked a lot - and it was a breath of fresh air in a month of virtually no quality movie releases to speak of. This is not your typical "which one is she going to pick" romance, and its not easy to pick out the right thing for her to do with her life, either. I like that about this movie because your faced with the same decisions the shopgirl is, having to weigh options and make sacrifices instead of just having an answer shoved down your throat.

The story shows what can happen to a girl that doesn't value herself, a girl that doesn't recognize the worth she could and should have in a relationship. It also shows what can happen to a guy that doesn't value the things in his life as much as he should, or at least not the right ways, until its too late.

Everyone in this movie does an excellent job of acting, and I wish I could have seen more jason shwartzman....he was not as monumental of a character as I expected him to be. I fully expected him and steve martin to interact on screen, it would have been nice....but no, that's not what happens.

One thing REALLY bugged me about this movie, but other than what I'm about to mention, the movie was fantastic, one to own. Steve Martin narrates the story, and plays one of the lead roles. Well, call me crazy, but if you're narrating and your in the movie, you should probably be narrating as your character - that is, in first person. However, Steve Martin disagrees. So, he spends some time going "Ray Porter learned a valuable lesson today, Ray Porter will never forget.....Ray Porter is a sexy beast...look at that Ray Porter.....if I was that guy - speaking totally objectively here - I'd be an amazing person" (ok, I made some of that up, but my point still stands). It is distracting to have a narrator speak as though he's not in the movie. It was kind of annoying and came across as a little narcissistic. I don't get it.

The movie was sort of like Lost in Translation in the sense that you've got this GREAT comedic actor that is on the borderline of typecast (ok - I take that back, Steve Martin IS type-cast) who then breaks the mold and makes a romance about a young woman that just lights his long extinguished love flames, haha. Geez. Anyway, aside from that one big issue for me, I loved it.

Shopgirl is the movie of the month, seriously, because nothing else has even come close to getting my butt into the theater. If you can get past a little crazy steve martin ego-trip, then the movie is excellent.

Magnolia

2006-02-12T22:08:00.000-08:00

1999 was the year for great movies. American Beauty was released then, Fight Club, Magnolia, etc etc......Magnolia is one of those movies I never had the chance to see when it was released in theaters, and a lot of people didn't. It was the first, and I think only time Tom Cruise was ever nominated for an academy award.

This movie is an ensemble cast in a 3 hour HUGE drama about all sorts of things. It's SO HARD to summarize this film.

The reason that it is a M.E.S.S., in my opinion, if nothing else, it has one of the BEST intros, the BEST montage I've ever seen, and one of the BEST endings.

The movie is also extremely thick and well developed. Around the time of the release, phone numbers that show up naturally through the film ACTUALLY lead you to a magnolia promo of some sort, and there are TONS of references to Exodus 8:2 - the plague of frogs. Looking for those alone makes the movie fun. It's just such an intricately detailed movie, where every picture on every wall is significant if you think, and loads more stuff like that.

It was written in about three weeks in William H. Macy's log cabin. Need I say more?

Fun with Dick and Jane

2006-02-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

So, Jim Carrey and Téa Leoni are starring in this remake of a 70's movie about an upstanding middle class couple that has to resort to robbery of all sorts in order to keep their lives together when the corrupt corporation that Dick Harper (Jim Carrey) works for goes under.

And......the hilarity insues? Well, it's funny. I mean, as funny as it can be, considering the wacky premise that doesn't leave too much room for real humor and instead lends itself to plain old goofiness.

And, I will say, the goofiness was fun for a bit, but in the end, I was left feeling like I'd just watched some kids movie that was thrown together rather quickly.

Jim Carrey put just enough "Jim Carrey" into this role to keep it goofy without being annoyingly "Jim Carrey." He dashed and darted and tumbled around the way he always does, found a few funny impersonation moments, and generally returned to his "In Living Color" days in a tasteful way.

Leoni did an excellent job as a wing(wo)man in this movie, but I would have liked to see someone a little...oh, I don't know.....cuter. Not in a physical way, but in a personality way. In this, she comes across as a little bit of a man in the relationship, being the pragmatic, rational one with little or no zaniness (of course, she's opposite the king of zany, so that might have something to do with it) to speak of. A cuter, bubblier actress would have been better suited for the movie.

At the end, they thank corporations for inspiring the movie....all of the ones in the list are corrupted or currently in litigation for corruption of all sorts....nice touch.

It's a fun and easily digestable movie without many highs or lows. It's a little darker than I expected, which turned out to be a good thing.

Also, really good music. The music choices are probably the most notable and enjoyable parts of the movie, and really suck you in when the story, directing, and acting doesn't. Jim Carrey also gets a few really cool moments where he just looks like an action star. It crossed my mind in a most surprising way, I'm just sitting there watching and BAM! Jim Carrey looks........cool??? Whhhaaaa??? Maybe there's a future in dramatic roles as a bad guy for him? Hhhmm....

Bored for about an hour on a saturday? go check it out (showing up 20 minutes late, I mean). Need something nice and easy to rent for strange people whose tastes you're not sure of? Rent it. Need to fill a space on your dvd rack or un-wobble an annoying chair? Buy it.

American Beauty

2006-02-08T07:45:00.000-08:00

If ever there was a funnier, darker, more true telling of the mid-life crisis, I haven't found it.

American Beauty is viewed by some as a little raunchy, racey, artsy movie that came out of nowhere and started stealing awards. I beg to differ. The movie brings out a man's struggle against himself and against the world he's built around himself. This is one of the biggest M.E.S.S.'s I can think of.

It is Fight Club for people that don't like violence. Watch the two, notice the parallel's....but that's a M.E.S.S. for another day :)

Kevin Spacey is one of the best actors in hollywood today, and the supporting cast couldn't have been assembled better. The old school rock sound track brings Lester's 'aged' view on life to a certain flavor, the same way huge scores work for fantasy/medieval movies. The use of color and lighting in shot composition makes each shot a piece of art.

The one-liners are proverbial, almost. Something to remember in almost every scene.

If nothing else, this movie is HILARIOUS after you've seen in a couple of times. It's funny at first, sure, but you're a little nervous about what's going on. After you see Lester blackmail his ten year younger, male boss with "who's to say you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?" a few times, or - one of my personal favorites - the "Lester! You're going to spill beer on the couch!" scene, you're rolling around laughing where the first time or two you've watched the movie, you were a little creeped out and scared for these people.

And, hence, the value of the film.

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world." - Lester

Me and You and Everyone We Know

2006-02-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

Miranda July. The star/writer/director of this movie. Before I even touch the movie, she is amazing, she is on her way, and she is the next big thing, I can feel it in my bones. She's a performance artist, and plays a version of herself in the movie. If this woman keeps making movies, watch out. They'll all be awesome.

Me and You and Everyone We Know is a story about a recently divorced shoe salesman trying to reconnect with his two sons, a performance artist that is pursuing him romantically while trying to get recognized, and a few other people in between. Every character in this movie is so lovable, that the story almost doesn't matter - which is good, because ultimately there isn't much of one.

The movie is a series of small events tied together, and they form a big picture of these people's lives without going into grand gestures of romance or heroic acts - much like the real world. To me, this makes the story very sincere, and almost MORE romantic than the fiction we're all used to.

The music is great, the cinematography is great, and the acting/directing is wonderful. I love everything about this movie, and there are loads of great one liners about life and love that make you want to pause the movie just to think, but you can't, because it's just too interesting.

And that's what makes the movie most appealing - the sense of watching completely ordinary love happen, ordinary lust happen, ordinary art, aging, and childhood...it's all so completely ordinary, and we don't see that enough in films. I think it's the first time I've seen love happen on film almost exactly the way it happens in reality.

I mean, there's enough fiction there to make it better than staring at a stranger for two hours, I mean it's not like you're sitting there watching a security monitor at the mall or anything - but there's enough reality to make it feel real and true to life -it makes me to want to know the people I'm watching.

All in all, my only complaint about the movie is that the story is left quite unresolved for many of the characters. I don't mind inferring the future lives in a 'happily (or not) ever after" sense of things, but with this movie you feel like you're left wanting to see more of these people's lives. We get to see many inciting incidents, things that change characters and people, but we don't get to see HOW they change and what they become in the end after all lessons are learned.

I think it's important for a film not to leave you hanging too much, and while I didn't have that feeling personally, I can see where many people could leave the theater saying, "well, THEN what happened!?" and that sucks.

If you liked the Royal Tenenbaums, Broken Flowers, or Lost in Translation, you'll like this movie, too, I'm betting.

M.E.S.S.'s

2006-02-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

So, if you haven't caught on to this already, many of my shorter posts on this blog are going to be M.E.S.S.'s - Movies Everyone Should See. This are movies you might have to dig up somewhere or go rent at the local place, or borrow from me. BUT, they're movies that have something about them - sometimes groundbreaking, sometimes awful, sometimes just a single scene....but they are movies that have made a difference or shown us what motion pictures are all about in some way, and should be appreciated by as many people as possible.

M.E.S.S.'s are generally going to be short little "thumbs up!'s" for a movie, not a great description, aside from anything interesting off the top of my head. Hope that's ok.

However, if there's ever anything anyone would like to see fully reviewed, even if it's not in theaters, you can always email me.

Casablanca

2006-02-02T16:32:00.000-08:00

So, yeah, Casablanca. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise...I know there are a lot of folks out there that want to nay say about this movie, "boo, it's such a piece of crap" but they're WRONG I TELL YOU!

Wait, no, no one talks bad about this movie! Nor should they! I just saw it for the first time recently and it blew me away!

The first thing I expect when I watch an old movie is some diluted plot, where they're happy to even be getting anything on film, much less making any drama. Bad actors and lighting, bad cuts and sound, and of course, nothing enjoyable in the least to my 21st century movie-eyes.

WRONG. Watch this movie. The drama is THERE, people, it's THERE! I'm not seeing things!

If there was ever a movie that was timeless, if there was ever a movie that deserves all the acclaim it has gotten, if there was ever a movie that stands out as being appropriate for its time AND ahead of it, well, it's probably another movie, but THIS ONE TOO!

Again, that is all I have to say. M.E.S.S.'s (movies everyone should see) are quick and dirty around here. (haha...get it the pun...dirty....messes......phew, I crack me up)

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

2006-02-02T16:28:00.000-08:00

First and foremost - gaaahh!!! look at that illustration! The guy who did it is Blake Loosli, you can look at more of his work here.

I can only hope to be that good one day.

Oh, and he drew it DIGITALLY, folks. Yes, that's right. No paper there. He asks that his images not be reproduced without permission, however, so please do not copy this without asking, out of respect for his hard work.

ANYWAY, the movie.

So, I was lounging around with my significant other (wink, wink, baby) flipping through the channels just the other night, and O Brother, Where Art Thou catches my eye. I think this is one of those movies everyone should see, or at least know a little bit about, because it's GREAT and the people behind are, too.

The Coen brothers......O Brothers, Where Art Thou!!?? They've made a few movies over the past yeras, none that have held a candle to this, much less held a candle to a Coen classic like The Big Lebowski.

O Brother, Where Art Thou is a retelling of Homer's Odyssey in the rural south around the 1930's. This movie is funny, this movie moves fast, if you're from the south you've gotta love the simple minds of the characters told so well by the Coens, and there is a lot of AWESOME bluegrass music to boot (if you like the music in this movie, you should pick up the DVD "Down from the Mountain", which is a concert held by many bluegrass and country legends in tandem with the film to celebrate the music).

It stars George Clooney, John Turturro, and Tim Blake Nelson, all of which are FANTASTIC in this movie. Yeah, George Clooney is still a little "Clooney-ish" but he needed a break after a nightmarish filming of the movie Three Kings, which is also a must see.

So, one of the M.E.S.S.'s for the week is going to have to be O Brother, Where Art Thou. Go grab it immediately. If you haven't seen it before, there is no excuse for it. Enjoy.

If you like this movie, you'll also like The Big Lebowski and Three Kings. Totally unrelated other than the talent and/or format, but good all the same!

End of the Spear

2006-01-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

The End of the Spear is based on a true story about missionaries that travel into the jungles of Ecuador and make contact with tribes that have never been influenced by the civilized world. The expected friction occurs, leading to tragedy and salvation, misdeeds and redemption for everyone involved.

Interesting Release Issues...

There are so many reasons why this movie should not have made a national release, but at the same time, I'm glad for them. The filmmakers have no experience to speak of, and the end result shows it (I'm sorry to say). However, the strong christian theme pushed it forward into a popularity not many religious movies can easily achieve.

This movie, being a small budget piece ($10 million) should have gone for a gradual national release, to build word of mouth and spend less money, but the fact that the film isn't that great means word of mouth would have worked AGAINST their profits, not FOR them. So, they went wide release, they'll make their money back, but the quality of the film prevented them from making huge profits.

Who woulda thunk it - a movie that's not good - not making that much money. What world are we in?

The thing is, most christian-themed movies explode (The Passion of the Christ) or go straight to video, never seeing the front door of a theater, much less being screened. It all depends on how avant-garde they are.

Yeah, but what about the MOVIE, man!?

For a religiously motivated film (as opposed to an artistically/financially motivated film with religious overtones, e.g., The Messenger), this movie was EXCELLENT, especially considering their budget restraints, being an independent project filming in an exotic land.

The story was just tugging at me the whole time, the drama was intense, as these people's entire way of life was being turned on its head. I thought the story was much more powerful from the point of view of the tribesmen than the christians, how their lives were being altered so radically by these new people with airplanes and guns.

Another thing that made me shy away from the white people in this movie is that they were HORRIBLE actors. Especially the kid. He's reminds me of that kid that played Anakin in Star Wars: Episode I, only way worse. I already went on a soap box about child acting, so I'll spare you that in this review. Let's just say, thank GOD this is an independent film, and they get some wiggle-room on talent....otherwise......ooohh.....this would be one funny, mean review.

So, I stuck to watching the movie through the eyes of the tribesmen, how they interact with these new people, how it upsets their delicate balance of life. However, that makes for a more tragic tale, how the thousands of years of tradition are washed away by the western world. Near the end, a few of the characters that were amazingly beautiful, proud, strong, healthy tribesmen are wearing baseball caps and button-up shirts....they are mere shadows of their former selves.

If this story (no matter how true) had emphasized bringing christianity to another culture, instead of bringing a CULTURE to another culture (that is - overrunning a tribal way of life with western ideals and customs) I would be MUCH happier with it. The drama was intense the entire time, and it could have gone either way, until the very end.

(I'm spoiling credit sequence, after the movie footage, here - be warned)

At the very end, the real life version of the child actor, who grows up and ends up bringing one of the main tribesmen to the states with him, recounts some of his adventures with the tribesman in the western world. He talks about "oh, he just thought it was so great that we can drive up to people's houses, and they'll just give you food that is already warm and cooked - it's great!" and the people in the theater laughed.

They LAUGHED at him for not knowing our ways.

STUPID TRIBESMAN! Hahahahaha! You don't know what a DRIVE-THRU is, wow! That's so cute!

And there was more about how his wife didn't like him coming back to the tribe overweight and lazy, and it was greeted by a similar reaction. We think we've got it soooo good. We think we're soooo much smarter than the previously healthy, independent tribesman that would rather have a mcdonalds now and magic "food-houses" (grocery stores) instead of continue his way of life. Sad if you ask me, and even sadder that we make light of it.

In the end

So, I left this movie with a bitter taste in my mouth, after what would have been a very dramatic, encouraging tale of converging worlds. So, that's how I leave you - thinking about the crazy, insensitive audience with no idea what it means to see a tribesman wearing a john-deer hat, and how that upsets a very long line of traditions that we would defend with our lives if they were our own. Pheh.

Underworld: Evolution

2006-01-27T16:19:00.000-08:00

I had such high, high hopes for this movie. I really did. I watched the first one back in '03, and loved it. It was a good, solid vampire/werewolf/half-breed movie (if there is such a thing). This film was put together by two guys that are relatively new to the industry, having only these two films credited to them for directing/writing. I can't believe that they'd push a sequel out, but I gave it a fair shot.

What's right about this movie?

Not much, but I'll give it a little credit. If you're looking for a sort of campy, sort of "dont think about this or you'll ruin it" sci-fi/fantasy, this movie is going to be fine for you, no complaints. It's not bad, if that's what you're in it for. The action is GREAT, there's lots of cool made-up folklore and legends that lead you to believe you've had it wrong all these years about vampires and werewolves. Kate Beckinsale delivers a solid performance, all bad writing aside, and the story is woven well with the first film, so well in fact that I'd say you didn't have to see the first one to understand this one. It might actually make you look forward to a third installment, if you can get past the issues I'll discuss later.

Trilogy/Mult-part Series Soap Box
But, if you're looking for the next big saga to hold you over for spiderman 3, X-men 3, or Harry Potter 5,324, then you're going to be vastly disappointed. This solid, one-part film tried to step up to the plate and compete in an era of trilogies and falls tragically short. Had they just left it alone with one solid film, we'd all be ok.

This is the problem with Hollywood today, a good idea has to keep making money until it becomes awful, and THEN they quit exploiting it. Well, maybe a few video releases....well, then maybe a tv spinoff or two....and some t-shirts....and THEN they quit exploiting it.

In the end, with most action movie successes, the market is over saturated with it, bored with it, and it just starts to suck, no matter how good it was in the beginning. It's like a great date that should have ended after the intriguing dinner conversation, and picked up another night, but instead, your date said "you know, I know this great park we could take a walk in!" Where you are subsequently beaten, robbed and left out to dry with no pants or spare change to speak of.

All lame sequel issues aside, what's wrong with this movie...
Underworld: Evolution falls short in simple storytelling more than anything else, especially when it stands alone. While I did say that there was a good weave of part one and part two, such that the story picks back up smoothly, the story becomes diluted in the lore of vampires, the legends of werewolves, and the over-use of fluorescent contact lenses.

I was left sitting in the theater, saying to myself, "wait, can she die? Can she die like THAT? Why do those bullets hurt that thing, I thought he was a werewolf? OH, right, UV bullets...makes sense...so, why's THAT guy over there alive? Didn't he get impaled? OH, he's a hybrid something or another, the rules don't apply there.....wasn't that guy the FIRST EVER vampire? OHHH, not him, he's not the first, he's sort of the second-first, and the crazy wing-guy is the FIRST first." AAGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Someone tell me what is HAPPENING.

Where is the humanity in this film? Where's the mortal danger? If everyone's immortal, been alive thousands of years, and not likely to die unless absolutely necessary, there is no DRAMA.

I had no sense of impending doom while watching this movie. It was like watching 5 year olds make up the rules of a game as they go along. No one loses. They just make up a "I can't lose for that reason" clause and move on. Until someone loses an eye.

When all the good guys seem to be untouchable, all the bad guys are kind of stupid and mostly just drooling, slimy, ugly guys with father-issues, a guy like me just sort ends up waiting on it to end. Happily, of course. Because these movies never surprise.

Go see this movie for fun, but please don't look at this as the next great series of vampire/werewolf movies. When you see part two, you can FEEL the marketing oozing out of it. This movie was made simply because the first one worked. Sometimes, the industry should just leave well enough alone.